Hello lovelies, I hope you were able to celebrate Easter even as you took sometime to rest.
I’m so glad to be writing today. I know, I know it’s been a month. I never thought that I could take that long to come up with content. More than once in March, I opened this app and started drafting but I always ended up deleting.
Lately, I’ve had so much to say but barely able to vocalize it leave alone write it down.
It’s April and I’m not where I wanted to be by now. Wait, where did I want to be? Eeerm, nowhere. Yes, you read that right. I didn’t have a clear vision.
If people can’t see what God is doing, they stumble all over themselves; But when they attend to what he reveals, they are most blessed.
Proverbs 29:18 MSG
I’ve been going through the motions of life, hoping for a better tomorrow but doing nothing beyond normal about it.
March was an exceptional month. So much going on in such a short time in very sensitive spheres of my life. Subsequently my sleep pattern was affected. I ended up substituting sleep time with YouTube, watching wildlife etc. Much later though, I realized that my lack of sleep was more of a wake up call to be alert.
It’s in this time that God graciously exposed the state of my heart to me. All the filth that I had allowed to infiltrate me. Yes, filth.
I’ve been having a challenge with someone. (To avoid repetition, I shall refer to her as Mary, not real name though). Mary had not done anything wrong to me but I found myself constantly hoping she would go away.
Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
I never got to the point of saying anything negative but it would be exhibited in my character. In how I treated her. Awfully sad, I know. So I eventually shared my challenge with my Father in the Lord and Mentor. The solution that he gave me opened my eyes to how ignorant I had been all along.
It’s vital that I mention that Mary cares for me. That much I know. However, that didn’t change the fact that I felt and thought that she was invading my space. But come to think of it, who said it’s mine? 😏
So it’s safe to say, I was fighting God by praying her away. I may not divulge the details of the solution but I’ll tell you for sure, that her entrance into my life was God’s announcement of my increase but I couldn’t see it.
What’s the purpose of my story, you ask?
I have learnt the hard way that things will not always work the way you expect them to. Not everything will come coated in candy. Somethings will require you to get your hands dirty. Isn’t it amazing how eagerly we pray for things and when they don’t come how we expect them to we put up a fight? And that my dear darlings is how we end up remaining in the same place. Stagnant.
The past month has seen me outgrow some people and also learn to appreciate the ones I previously overlooked. In March, I learnt that I shouldn’t value some people more than others but should learn to love all unconditionally. There’s nothing wrong with valuing people. Some people will always have a special place in your heart like family etc. However, what I am against, atleast for myself is the idea of sidelining other people.
I’ve learnt that those I’ve overlooked the most, are the ones God uses to connect me to my blessing.
I had been praying for increase but when it came I wasn’t willing to give up what I was holding on to. There’s no way that I could have my cake and eat it too. I believe that’s why God exposed the deplorable state of my heart before he could allow me to proceed. He needed me to deal with me first. To acknowledge that I was the problem and let Him help me.
We all love new things but aren’t willing to pay the price. I think it’s only human that we resist change yet we crave it so badly. An aeroplane that’s taking off faces so much resistance. There’s so much turbulence before it finally manages to fly steady. Farming is very undesirable to the eyes. All the hard work and labor that’s required puts off people but when the table is set everyone wants to eat.
Change is not sweet but if you preserve through the transition you’ll be able to enjoy. It comes with fear of the unknown. To conquer or be conquered by it is your choice.
Pardon my composition, I hope that beyond all, you would understand where you are at and what you are expecting of yourself and that which pertains to you. After which, I would highly recommend that you get to work. Renew yourself. Prepare and familiarize yourself with what you anticipate so that when it comes, you won’t miss it.
“No one sews a patch of unshrunk (new) cloth on an old garment; otherwise the patch pulls away from it, the new from the old, and the tear becomes worse. No one puts new wine into old wineskins; otherwise the [fermenting] wine will [expand and] burst the skins, and the wine is lost as well as the wineskins. But new wine must be put into new wineskins.”
Mark 2:21-22 AMP
Love and blessings always.
Happy New Month!!